


Falling Down

by WakeUpDreaming



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Drunk!Toby, F/M, Fluff, London Bridge, Nonsense, Tequila, Texting, night out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 14:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10119923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WakeUpDreaming/pseuds/WakeUpDreaming
Summary: Toby goes out with the guys, and Happy has to help him out when he gets home - he's not as young as he used to be. And why does he keep singing?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ScribeShan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribeShan/gifts).



> For the wonderful Shan, with whom I giggled out this plot line.

Happy gets the call at eleven at night, when she’s cozied in bed next to a giant bowl of popcorn and a beer.

“Oh, come on,” she laughs, “you told me you’d try and spend at least a couple hours on a guy’s night without calling me.”

“But I love you!” he yells, and Happy’s pretty sure they’re at that dive bar Cabe brought her to a couple weeks ago – she recognizes the weird clinking of the jukebox in the background. “Happy, come out with us.”

“Can’t,” she replies. “Already have my beer and my popcorn.”

“You’ve taken others to our marital bed,” Toby says dramatically. “For shame!”

“Oh, god, you’re getting weird,” Happy says. “Go have fun with the guys. Text me when they drop you off and I’ll help you up the stairs.

“You’re the best!” Toby yells. “I love you! You and I should –”

Happy doesn’t even need to know what would follow that start of a sentence. It wouldn’t be normal.

It’s half of her beer, the whole bowl of popcorn, and three straight hours of heckling Transformers movies before she gets a text.

_Hw come re tim you come around my lond brgg fa l down?._

“What…?” she says, out loud, because she’s half convinced she’s dreaming. She texts back, **Are you okay?**

_Drirks start purring and my speech srt slurring._

**Dude. You’re hammered.**

_GREY GOOSE, HAPPY. GREY GOOE._

She texts Cabe, **What the hell is Toby trying to text me?**

Unfortunately all she gets back is, This Fergie lady is good dance music!

And then she realizes why the lyrics sound familiar, and has to prepare herself for the next six weeks of Toby singing that song nonstop. At least, that’s how long it took him to shake off Don’t Cha.

She finishes the second Transformers movie before the next text from Toby. _Im home love you you’re beautiful I loveou_

“Oh god,” Happy says, wincing. She’s fairly certain Toby’s going to wake up sick the next morning, and that’ll make it the second time this week that she’s had to take care of somebody.

She walks silently to the front door, avoiding the creakiest of their floorboards, and waits by the front door. Happy blows through a few articles on her phone before she hears giggling on the other side of door. She opens the door to tell Toby to quiet down, but Toby, apparently, was already opening it. He loses his balance and falls into Happy, who falls down with them.

She really wants to be annoyed. She does. But Toby’s giggle is so ridiculous she starts laughing too, and takes off his hat. “Hey, Toby.”

“Happy,” he says, and she can tell he’s trying to be serious, “I need to ask you something.”

“Okay.” And she wishes she knew where this was going. He props himself up onto his elbows, looking bizarrely serious.

“How come,” he begins, “how come every time you come around –”

“Oh no.”

“My London Bridge wanna go down?” And he starts giggling again.

“What the hell does that song even mean?!” Happy asks, sitting up. “Come on, Doc, get up. We need to get you to bed.”

“I think it means underpants,” he muses, a little too loudly, “oh, man, why’s my arm itchy?” He scratches his arm, and something comes off.

“Oh, my god!” Happy yelps, horrified. “What the hell is that?”

“Salt,” he says, looking like he just discovered the answer to a long lost question. “Oh, Happy, you would have loved it. This gigantic guy bumped into me when I was trying to do a tequila shot, and got salt all over me! But then I just looked at him and he apologized.” He grins. “I’m intimidating. I’m hardcore.”

“No,” Happy corrects, “you were just blasted drunk and the guy probably respected that. Get in the shower – you’re covered in salt now.”

“We did four tequila shots,” Toby says.

“We?” Happy asks, shuffling him into the bathroom so he doesn’t get too loud.

“Me and Cabe,” he corrects. “Walter and Sylbester – Sylvester, I mean – got sodas so they could drive.” He grins. “And then Walter got a London Iced Tea. And Paige had to come get him.”

“Long Island Iced Tea,” Happy tells him.

He shakes his head once he pulls his shirt off. “No, it’s a thing they make there,” he insists, and he only needs one gentle poke to get into the shower after he kicks off his jeans. “It’s all fancy – Beefeater gin and other London-y booze. Walter danced.”

Happy freezes. “If you love me,” she says seriously, “you’ll have gotten a recording.”

Toby leans in and kisses her, sloppy and a little wet from the shower. “I got two whole minutes of him dancing to Formation.” He wiggles the phone. “And another one of him dancing to Bon Jovi before Paige got there and made me stop filming.”

Happy can’t help but kiss him again. “You’re the best husband ever.”

He grins. “I know.” And then he looks down at his bare chest. “Hey, I could Magic Mike it with the water and the wet jeans.”

“Please don’t,” Happy says. “The last time we tried doing anything other than showering in there we ripped down the curtain.”

“You think I have Pony on my phone?” he asks, and it’s clear he hasn’t heard a word she’s said.

Happy sighs. “How about you get out of the shower and we’ll check?”

“That kind of brain foolery works with Gracie,” Toby says, stepping out of the shower and dripping everywhere, “but not with me! I taught you that trick.”

“And, yet, you’re walking into the bedroom.”

He turns to say something, but instead he trips and lands, rather hard, on the floor. They both freeze, waiting to hear the telltale sign of their error.

“Daddy?”

Happy looks at Toby. “She’s asking for you,” she says, leaping over Toby, “your turn!”

“Hey!” Toby laughs as he grabs at Happy’s pajama pants. It doesn’t really slow her down, but she decides to stop. “At least let me get dressed first.”

Gracie toddles out of her bedroom, her blanket trailing behind her like a cape. She wrinkles her nose when she gets a look at Toby. “Daddy, you’re wet.”

“I am,” Toby says. “I’m going to go get dressed, okay? And then we’ll read a story.”

Happy stares at him.

“What?”

“You’re – ” she looks over at Gracie, “normal.”

“You threw me in a freezing cold shower and then my kid came out looking cute as anything,” Toby says, leaning forward to kiss Gracie on the nose, “I can go normal even after the tequila.”

He’s proven wrong, though, because he gets up to get dressed and stumbles into his bedroom. Happy tries not to laugh – neither of them have had much alcohol since Gracie was born, and apparently Toby decided to take this Guy’s Night for Cabe a little hard.

“Hap, I’ll be right there,” he says. “My London Bridge fell down.”

Happy bursts into laughter. Gracie tugs at her shirt. “Mommy, what’s London Bridge?”

“Your dad’s just being silly, kiddo.” Happy scoops Gracie up into her arms and knocks on the bedroom door.

“Daddy, we coming in?”

“We are coming in,” Happy corrects, but she pushes open the door slowly.

“Hap, I’m stuck in my pajama pants,” Toby whines. “Help.”

“Daddy really is silly,” Gracie says sagely.

Happy sighs. “You know it, kid. Wait on Mom and Dad’s bed, okay?”

Gracie nods, and starts singing something while Happy figures out that Toby somehow got the waistband twisted around one of the legs of his pants.

“You better?” Happy asks.

Toby nods. “I hope the other guys feel as weird as I do,” he mumbles. “Cabe challenged me to shots and, because it’s his birthday, I went for it.” He shakes his head a little. “God, Hap, I’m way too old for shots.”

“I could have told you that,” she fires back, but she says it with a kiss to his cheek. “Come on. There’s a very tiny person waiting for you to read her a story.”

“I am not tiny!” Gracie argues. “I’m fun-sized. That’s what Aunt Paige tells me.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Toby says. “Let’s get you back to bed, okay?”

Gracie nods and wiggles off the bed, singing as she walks off.

“Honey,” Toby says, and Gracie turns around in the hallway, “what are you singing?”

“It’s what Daddy was talking about,” Gracie explains. “We learned it with Miss Jessie.” Happy and Toby exchange a look. And then, in her charming, three year old voice, Gracie sings, “ _London bridge is falling down_ –”


End file.
